How I Feel About Losing Weight

'Nuff said.
~C

2 lbs up, 2 lbs down and H2O

This is the most common pattern I have seen over the weeks and months I have been watching what I eat. I will see a drop of 2 lbs and then the 2 lbs will return for a while, I will go down one, up one and then I will be back down the two. It's not a strictly linear pattern though that is what I expect many days. I feel grumpy when the number goes up and get excited when the number goes down. And in the end, as long as the trend is a downward trend then I think I am doing ok.

This week has been no different. I was at 153 last week and then I got up as high as 156 this week but this morning I was back down to 153. I realized that I have not been drinking enough water during the day and there is a part of me that resists drinking lots and lots of water because I feel like it will just make me weigh more. I know, this may sound silly but I think I have been doing this. So, yesterday I changed it up and drank a ton of water (probably 12 glasses total) and the next morning, that's when I was back to 153. Huh. Again, the "experts" are right and perhaps we do need more water. Needless to say, I am on the water bandwagon again.

We'll see how my body responds tomorrow . . .

~C

The Effects of Splurging

A couple days ago on Saturday, I went out for dinner and dancing with many dear friends of mine. Although I planned the event around my birthday, I was also celebrating my weight loss and how good I feel now. I stepped on the scale Saturday morning and I was at 153 lbs - 43lbs down since August 2011. I went shopping that morning looking for a party dress to wear out and I am solidly wearing a size 10. There was only one dress out of maybe 25 dresses that didn't fit well. In fact, I went back and took a look through the size 8s and I tried a couple dresses on and they fit! My crazy idea of wearing a size 8 is absolutely within my reach. I honestly don't think it's ridiculous for me to think I may even get to a point where I fit into a size 6.

And this has all been accomplished by watching what I eat. And I never go hungry. And I like eating the foods I eat now. And I like shopping now. And holy shit - I did it without any crazy diet, or pills or hormones, or pressure!!!

Now, on to the topic of this post - splurging and its effects. This weekend was a "splurge" weekend. I gave myself a free ticket to ride all weekend for my birthday celebration. And guess what? At dinner, I ended up ordering healthy (grilled Mahi Mahi, teriyaki veggies and some rice, a little artichoke dip for appetizer and 2 vodka cranberries), only ate about 3 bites of my brownie dessert and was so full that I was uncomfortable for the rest of the night. The next day we spent the day at my in-laws house and I munched all day long on everything terrible for me - cheese puffs, doritos, a mini cinnamon roll, diet soda and potato salad. Then we had dinner. I ate half of a cheeseburger, some more potato salad and 1/2 of a cupcake.

And today? I am freaking miserable. My body is not happy at all. I literally couldn't stomach eating "real" food for breakfast today. I drank a couple cups of coffee and then for lunch I went all out and had a Chobani yogurt and a slice of toast with a little butter and that was it. I had a banana for a snack later and then ate dinner which I regret. Hubby tried a recipe I found and it was terrible. Definitely not worth the effort to make it nor the calories consumed. It was relatively guilt free, half of a baked potato with a no-fat cream cheese and spinach filling with turkey bacon sprinkles. We also had some rotisserie chicken and mashed potatoes on the side to use the extra potato insides. The baked potato was devoid of flavor and my stomach just feels yucky now.

So my thoughts on splurging - I reserve the right to choose to splurge, but I actually don't like what happens with my body when I do. It makes me feel like crap. I'm not even worried about what it does to the number on the scale - I just don't like feeling icky. I listen to my body now and my body is happy that tomorrow is a new day and that salad is on the menu!
~C

Wedding Dress

Ok, so part of my goal for myself included getting into my wedding dress again and here are the pictures to prove it! :). Nine years and 2 kids later nonetheless!
~C

Goal Achieved!

Today is February 12th and on January 6th I set a goal for myself to lose 10 lbs in 5 weeks by my birthday, February 13th (that's a lot of numbers in one sentence lol). I weighed in at 164 then and yesterday I stepped on the scale and weighed 154! In fact, this morning, I weighed 153.8 but that probably won't be back again for a little while so I am sticking with 154. So, there it is. I did it! I set a goal and I achieved it. I am still in shock with the weight loss - it doesn't seem like it has been possible but clearly it has worked for me.

As for my goal of putting on my wedding dress and twirling around in it, I actually was able to do this a few weeks ago though the dress was pretty tight :). If I am not running too late in the morning, I will see if I can put it on again and snap a few photos to complete my challenge to myself.

~C

Pictures

It is my brother's birthday today so I was sure to get some pictures of me with them tonight since it really has been a while since I have had pictures taken. I was shocked to see how skinny I look in the photos. I need to stop stressing about the darn scale. The pictures were a definite reminder of how far I have come. Wow. What a journey.
~C

Love/Hate Relationships

I am having a love/hate relationship with the scale lately. It's really my own darn fault but it feels like I can't help it. I have seen the number go down to 155 which is great but it keeps creeping back up and I feel stuck right now at 156. I am still hoping that by Monday I can at least see 154 on the scale even if it goes away for a few days but there are no guarantees. I have learned a few things since setting my goal of 10lbs in 5 weeks. One thing is that I am much more conscientious with my food choices when I have a goal. This is a good thing most days. Another thing that I have learned is that when I have a goal, I expect the pounds to simply melt off and I expect to beat the goal instead of being content with being within a pound of it or possibly meeting the goal. This is where my frustration level increases way higher than it has been in the prior 5 months of weight loss. I want to see a lower number every time I step on the scale which is unrealistic. Especially when I just started my period, too.

So, after my month long goal-setting experience, I am going to try and take it a little easier and cut myself some slack. I don't like feeling frustrated with the weight loss. It is something that I should enjoy and not obsess over :). Perhaps easier said than done, but we will see. Maybe this is where I hit a plateau and need to step things up a notch to drop the last 15-20 lbs (in a dream world!). As for tomorrow, I am super excited to wear my new skinny jeans to work! I like enjoying little things like this.

~C

Working Out, Clothes Shopping and Wine

So, I thoroughly enjoyed Zumba this morning - what a fun time with super fun girls! I am, however, developing a slight complex about my workout expressions. Apparently I am quite expressive. My friend laughed about it and the owner of the studio said she wanted to get me on video to post online since I was smiling the entire class hahaha. I don't think I will be volunteering for this honor anytime soon, but I think it works a bit in my favor in the case they were watching to see how I might be as an instructor in class. I had sort of figured I wouldn't be teaching anytime soon based on my limited availability, etc. but now I am thinking about it more and more. I really DO love working out and moving my body. It fulfills a need inside of me that hasn't been addressed in a long time now. We'll see.

On a related note, I decided to drop in to a gym where my friend said they were looking for fitness instructors. The last time I was there, I missed the owner but today she was there. I spent a while talking to her about my personal trials and tribulations these past few years and then told her how I had recently lost 40 lbs. Without exercise. She seemed pretty impressed that I had been able to achieve this with just diet alone. She recommended adding in weight training to increase my body's natural ability to burn calories. I know this is something that would be very beneficial, I am just not sure it is in the budget right now. Again, we'll see. They have a free class option as well so I might drop in and try it out to see if we might be a good fit somehow. Look at all these possibilities - what a surreal situation I find myself in . . .

After Zumba Toning, I went to a local healthy cafe in my neighborhood to have a little bite to eat with my friend. I enjoyed some toast with almond butter and fresh jam with a cappuccino. Deelish! After lunch, I went shopping at Ross. I probably shouldn't have, but I did anyway. Holy moly, I am solidly wearing a size 10 in pants and can fit into medium size shirts for the most part as well. Going from wearing a size 16 pants and extra large shirts, I consider this to be pretty major for me. Woo hoo! $80 later, I have several new shirts, a pair of skinny jeans and a pair of work pants. I cannot believe how fun shopping has become. This is definitely dangerous.

And now I sit here, enjoying a glass of wine and watching a movie with my sweetheart. Good night world!

~C

Zumba Time!

I am super excited for tomorrow - a couple of girls from work are going to join me for a Zumba class at my friend's brand new studio in Phoenix! It has been a loooong time since I have exercised more than walking during breaks at work. I am a little nervous about being out of shape cardiovascularly but I am so happy to support my dear friend in her fitness studio adventure. I will get to wear my "skinny" workout clothes tomorrow too - all of the old ones don't fit anymore :). Wish me luck as I Zumba some calories away!