A couple days ago on Saturday, I went out for dinner and dancing with many dear friends of mine. Although I planned the event around my birthday, I was also celebrating my weight loss and how good I feel now. I stepped on the scale Saturday morning and I was at 153 lbs - 43lbs down since August 2011. I went shopping that morning looking for a party dress to wear out and I am solidly wearing a size 10. There was only one dress out of maybe 25 dresses that didn't fit well. In fact, I went back and took a look through the size 8s and I tried a couple dresses on and they fit! My crazy idea of wearing a size 8 is absolutely within my reach. I honestly don't think it's ridiculous for me to think I may even get to a point where I fit into a size 6.
And this has all been accomplished by watching what I eat. And I never go hungry. And I like eating the foods I eat now. And I like shopping now. And holy shit - I did it without any crazy diet, or pills or hormones, or pressure!!!
Now, on to the topic of this post - splurging and its effects. This weekend was a "splurge" weekend. I gave myself a free ticket to ride all weekend for my birthday celebration. And guess what? At dinner, I ended up ordering healthy (grilled Mahi Mahi, teriyaki veggies and some rice, a little artichoke dip for appetizer and 2 vodka cranberries), only ate about 3 bites of my brownie dessert and was so full that I was uncomfortable for the rest of the night. The next day we spent the day at my in-laws house and I munched all day long on everything terrible for me - cheese puffs, doritos, a mini cinnamon roll, diet soda and potato salad. Then we had dinner. I ate half of a cheeseburger, some more potato salad and 1/2 of a cupcake.
And today? I am freaking miserable. My body is not happy at all. I literally couldn't stomach eating "real" food for breakfast today. I drank a couple cups of coffee and then for lunch I went all out and had a Chobani yogurt and a slice of toast with a little butter and that was it. I had a banana for a snack later and then ate dinner which I regret. Hubby tried a recipe I found and it was terrible. Definitely not worth the effort to make it nor the calories consumed. It was relatively guilt free, half of a baked potato with a no-fat cream cheese and spinach filling with turkey bacon sprinkles. We also had some rotisserie chicken and mashed potatoes on the side to use the extra potato insides. The baked potato was devoid of flavor and my stomach just feels yucky now.
So my thoughts on splurging - I reserve the right to choose to splurge, but I actually don't like what happens with my body when I do. It makes me feel like crap. I'm not even worried about what it does to the number on the scale - I just don't like feeling icky. I listen to my body now and my body is happy that tomorrow is a new day and that salad is on the menu!
~C
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