I Think I Broke My Plateau / Down 55? / New Benchmark

I had been stuck for a long while between 151 and 147 lbs, like for months. I had resolved myself to the fact that the scale probably wouldn't go much lower and really only wanted to see it dip to 146 so I could officially say I lost a full 50lbs. And then I took a Zumba class and my weight plummeted into the 130s. Say what?? As much as I wanted to believe it was that low, I had a very rough time imagining that I weighed myself Thursday morning and was 145.8 and then by Thursday night I was down to 140 and then 138 in the morning. But the crazy part is that it is now Saturday night and I am still weighing in at 140. Now I haven't gone so far as to replace the batteries in the scale (which might clear things up), but I think there may be some truth to where my weight is right now. I think I may have actually broken my plateau!!

This is significant for a few reasons. For one, it means I have actually lost 55 lbs since August 10, 2011. And the second reason is more emotional for me. When I was 15 or 16 I was severely bulimic and I remember stepping on the scale at home and I weighed 140 lbs. I distinctively remember my best friend's mom telling me how great I looked (her daughter was stick thin) and that I was able to wear this tight brown shirt that previously didn't look very good on me. I was sick. I did not see myself as I was and I battled my fear and loathing of food on a moment to moment basis. Now, as a fairly well-adjusted adult who has been married for 9 years and has given birth to two beautiful children, I weigh what I did back then. And I am no longer sick. I see myself truthfully when I look in the mirror. And my personal worth has absolutely nothing to do with the number on the scale.

That's something I am extremely proud of!

~C

New Milestone: DOWN 50!

Holy moly, I did it! On Thursday morning I stepped on the scale and weighed in at 145.8 lbs. I didn't think the day would ever come and yet here it is :). I am crazy excited to be able to share this accomplishment and I still am pinching myself that it is real. Not only that, but I went to Zumba on Thursday night and have weighed in really really low since - I think because my body is still in a sort of shock with the addition of exercise - or the scale is broken, but needless to say I am thrilled. The scale today showed 138 which I think is pretty much impossible so I am not counting it, but just seeing that number was weird. And this shift to losing weight again after a plateau is sort of new as well. I am not sure what to expect tomorrow. But for today I celebrate 50 lbs down!
~C

So close . . .

I stepped on the scale today and first was thrilled by what I saw but also felt a little taunted by the number looking back at me: 147. Holy freaking cow, I have actually solidly made my way into the 140s! And then the taunting part came when I realized that this means I have lost 49 lbs so far and I am so insanely close to hitting 50 lbs down that I am extremely antsy to see 146 looking back at me. What will that be like? I honestly might cry. This has been a long and exciting journey for me and it has taken a kind of dedication and motivation that I often forget I am capable of. On August 10, 2011 my mom posted some pictures of me on Facebook that made me mortified, sad and upset. I did not recognize the person in the photos and I instantly begged her to remove them from public view. Today I wish I could find the photos to share here so everyone can see what I am talking about - the official before photos that prompted me to take control of my personal addiction: food.

What a blessing those photos were. I might have just kept plugging along, unhappy and frustrated until I developed diabetes or suffered problems from high cholesterol and blood pressure. Thank goodness they made me as mad as they did. Perhaps I would still be battling with every bite I took. Thank goodness for these moments of clarity in life. I am more healthy and I can honestly say I love myself more now than ever before in my life. I feel empowered, I feel competent, I feel in control of my choices. These are the real blessings that I need to remember when I get anxious about milestones. I absolutely know that the achievement does not lie in the number on the scale, but in the behavioral transformation I have experienced. However, I would be a liar if I said I won't be over the moon to post when I consistently see 146 looking back at me. As Barney would say on the TV show How I Met Your Mother, "It'll be LEGENDARY!" In the meantime, cheers to being healthy and feeling good :).
~C