This weekend my sister was in town from California. Two days before she arrived, the stress had already begun to swell. My kids bugged me about when she would be here, my mom asked if I had talked to her and knew what her plans were, my husband had already decided it would be a "Charlie Foxtrot" of a weekend and I just wanted everybody to stop asking me what was going on. Somehow being the oldest of the four siblings means that I am the decision-maker and liaison between everyone. And commensurate with this role, I am irritating to everyone when I cast the deciding vote on plans that no one can decide on. I am criticized for taking on the role, chastized for not knowing what the plans are and then get the "roll of the eyes" when I become too bossy.
This weekend was no different and at the end of the 2 days, I am emotionally exhausted, frustrated and barely on speaking terms with my hubby. Great. Awesome. Fucking annoying.
And along with the stress, I face my personal demon: food. More specifically, eating bad stuff in high quantities to buffer my stress levels. It never serves me but I do it anyway and tonight after 2 days of not eating well, I am over-full and wishing I could go back and have a weekend food re-do. While I can't actually turn back the clock, I can choose not to eat anything more tonight and to make better choices tomorrow. This is just a momentary detour - not a pit stop.
Wish me luck as I go back to "normal" tomorrow.
~C
No comments:
Post a Comment